Cluelessness

[stoutfellow]

Now this is a classic putdown, due to Mark Kleiman. I'll omit the name of the subject, so as not to distract from the true beauty of the insult.

How clueless is [X]? He doesn't have a clue. He's never had a clue. He couldn't get a clue if he waited for the clue mating season, found a group of horny female clues, sprayed himself all over with clue pheromones, and did the clue mating dance.

Addendum: I am now informed that this is not original with Mr. Kleiman; a version of the quote is attributed to one John Sinnott, who as far as I can tell died in 1896. Huh.