Jan. 21st, 2005

stoutfellow: Joker (Default)
It begins with an advertisement. It's not on the air anymore; in fact, I'm not sure when it was aired, for how long, or even what was being advertised. (Really effective ad, no?) The ad opens with Cybill Shepherd saying, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

Now, that sentence bugs me on a number of levels, but I'm just going to focus on the presupposition.

I don't see Cybill Shepherd as beautiful. I know that there are those who do, and they are numerous, or influential, or both; but I don't see it. I've wasted spent some time trying to figure out why she's not appealing to me.

Faces are important. If a face doesn't strike me well, there's not much that can retrieve the situation. Now, I'll grant that CS has nice eyes. (Eyes can do a lot. Elizabeth Rohm's eyes almost make up for her shortcomings as an actress.) The problem seems to have to do with the lower half of her face. For a while I thought it was the strength of her jawline, but Phylicia Rashad has a comparably strong jaw, and she's gorgeous. I've decided it has to be the width of her mouth. I'm not sure why that turns me off, but - well, I'm not impressed with Julia Roberts either.

There are two kinds of faces that I like. An oval or heart-shaped face with delicate features, like Audrey Hepburn or Ingrid Bergman, is very attractive. Glenn Close fits here too. At the lower end, this shades into cuteness - Meg Ryan or Helen Hunt. (Helen Hunt fails, for me, because her chin is too weak. I'm not sure why Meg Ryan misses the cut.) On the other hand, a longish face with strong features merits a second look too. Katharine Hepburn is the exemplar in this group, but there are a lot of recent contenders too, including Meryl Streep, Sigourney Weaver, and Claudia Black. The lower end here includes what my father calls "handsome" women; Claudia Christian is one, Allison Janney another.

Voices matter a lot, too. There's a particular sort of voice that really attracts me, but it seems rare; I've only noticed it three times. Kate Jackson has (had? haven't seen her in a while) it, and so does Claudia Black. So did (sigh) one of my students, quite a few years ago. (Ethics, boy, ethics!)

Not that anyone was asking...

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