stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
A man, a guitar, and two cockatoos.
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
This is what happens when you feed the output of a tuba into voice recognition software....
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
... is a rather amusing twitter account. I particularly liked this tweet:
Surely flies have great reasons for swarming through my nose while I am napping, but they are not good at communicating those reasons to me.
The bear also talks about eating things, about existential doubt, and about whether bees/sticks/the forest/birds like him. It's kind of silly, sure. One tweet per day, as far as I can tell.
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
Life is a beta test. I look forward to the day when I shall be completely debugged.

(Hat-tip to Benjamin Franklin.)
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
This shows a pretty funny campaign ad that's been put out by a man who's running for re-election as a county commissioner in Travis County, Texas. It's not nasty, mean, or anything - it's just a neat bit of self-deprecation, and it works wonderfully.
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
All she wanted to do was to rake the leaves.
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
One of the e-books I'm currently reading is The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table, by Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. (Not to be confused with OWH Jr., legal scholar, Supreme Court Justice, and far less entertaining writer.) It's a compilation of essays originally published in Atlantic Monthly; the basic conceit is that Holmes is a resident at a boarding house, and the essays are records of breakfast-table conversations among the inmates. Naturally, Holmes dominates the conversations, but isn't afraid to allow a little self-mockery, and the results are pretty funny.

Example: Holmes is pontificating on the difficulty of true conversation, pointing out that in a dialogue between John and Thomas, at least six personalities are involved:
1. The real John; known only to his Maker.
2. John's ideal John; never the real one, and often very unlike him.
3. Thomas's ideal John; never the real John, nor John's John, but often very unlike either.
and similarly for Thomas. Holmes goes on to give flesh to this argument, ending with, "No wonder two disputants often get angry, when there are six of them talking and listening all at the same time."

This is followed by a parenthetical comment.
[A very unphilosophical application of the above remarks was made by a young fellow, answering to the name of John, who sits near me at table. A certain basket of peaches, a rare vegetable, little known to boarding-houses, was on its way to me via the unlettered Johannes. He appropriated the three that remained in the basket, remarking that there was just one apiece for him. I convinced him that his practical inference was hasty and illogical, but in the mean time he had eaten the peaches.]
That deadpan ending appeals to me. Just a sample of what is to be found in the collection....

Humor

Feb. 28th, 2015 08:43 am
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
Spontaneous, off-the-cuff humor is, to put it charitably, not one of my strong suits. My attempts usually fall flat, and often offend. (I generally don't recognize the offense until well after the fact, which results in the denting of my forehead.)

That said:

This past week, on Questionable Content, there was a scene in which Faye, having lost her job, was looking at the classified ads. Jeph showed us the page she was looking at; off in the upper left corner was a plaintive "Please, I just want my chickens back." On the forums, during a discussion of that strip, someone asked, "So, anyone have any ideas where the chickens might be?" I immediately replied, "On the other side of the road?"

Which I thought was funny. Apparently some other readers did too: I got half a dozen Likes.

And it wasn't even a pun!

:preens:
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
"Cold? Check out a book! You'll still be cold, but you'll have a book."

(H/t Greg Dworkin)
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
It occurred to me this morning that "Thick as a barn" or "Think, as a crab" would be a serious answer to the question.

In-Joke

Sep. 28th, 2014 03:08 pm
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
I just ran across one of the worst jokes I have ever heard. Unfortunately, it's a mathematical in-joke, and most people will not get it at all.

Question: What is an anagram of "Banach-Tarski"?

Read more... )
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
I'm not really aural-oriented when I read; when something I read does give me a clear set of voices, it's an unusual and very special moment.

Now, when I read a good joke, I do tend to start rehearsing it, in hopes of telling it later. But I just read a bit over on [personal profile] legionseagle's DW account which I simply can't get through without cracking up.

"[I]t was just... not even so much not my cup of tea as 'Excuse me, I ordered a cup of tea and this seems to be a two-year-old Doberman Pinscher'."

I can not say it!

Riddle

Mar. 10th, 2014 02:47 pm
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
Q. What do you do with an elephant that's got three balls on him?

The answer )

Hat-tip to Sarah on Making Light.
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
I make no secret of my love for Bonnie Tyler's oft-maligned "Total Eclipse of the Heart". Nonetheless, this is hilarious: Christina Bianco sings the song, switching between impressions of a dozen or so divas, including Celine Dion, Cher, Julie Andrews, and Barbra Streisand. I'm not up on some of the more recent entries - I've never (to my knowledge) heard Adele, for instance - but the ones I recognize are spot on. Take a listen.
stoutfellow: (Three)
A commenter on James Nicoll's LJ pointed out this video: Sad Cat Diary.

Meanwhile, Gracie is growling at Buster over a rawhide chew, and Buster is pleading for attention. I must go give him some.
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
Nemo finds you.

Be Good

Dec. 5th, 2012 09:25 am
stoutfellow: (Three)
I love Dogblog. What amuses me about this one is that it's immediately obvious which is which.

(Or is it?)
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
This is kind of cute: Mike Sterling's vision of the Fantastic Four, as written by H. P. Lovecraft.
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
Dear Math,
I am sick and tired of finding your x for you. Just accept the fact that she's gone. MOVE ON, DUDE!
stoutfellow: Joker (Joker)
This photo, of Bad Decision Dog, showed up on dogblogsf almost a month ago, but it still tickles me. Take a look, if you will.

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